11. Defeat

Period: May 2011 - July 2011

Upon arriving in Queenstown, despite my dwindling health I was in an optimistic mood, determined to find a job and enjoy the ski season before considering whether to extend my visa for a further 12-months. The job hunt was difficult and I quickly lost my motivation. Being around an old friend again I found it much for difficult to hide the severity of my symptoms and, being on a tight budget, I had a lot of spare time in which to think and dwell.

Nevertheless, surrounded by beautiful scenery and a good friend I managed to keep my spirits up. Unfortunately, it became increasingly difficult to keep my food down. At this point I remember the constant pain seemed to manifest itself in my consciousness and I was always aware of it. I am totally embarrassed to admit it now, but I was still trying to convince myself it was IBS! After all, that's what the doctor said right? Up until then I had never really been able to specify which part of my abdomen was painful, it was just a general feeling of all-round pain accompanied by intermittent cramps. However, I became increasingly aware of a constant dull ache in my lower right abdomen and the area was frequently swollen and tender. 

After two months I realised that, even if I were to find a job, it was highly unlikely I would be able to maintain it for too long in my current condition. More and more I started to realise that going back to England was the sensible option. It was not an easy decision to make, but above all else I now just wanted my health back. I had intended to spend at least year in Australia after NZ, so I decided I could go home, get my bowels fixed and earn some money, before heading off to Oz next year. Therefore, in July I booked a flight back to Blighty. On the morning of my departure I woke up and promptly started vomiting, which at least confirmed I was making the right decision. And so, with a heavy heart I waved the white flag and boarded my flight from Christchurch. If I had known then how long it would take to finally get a correct diagnosis, I might have just stayed in New Zealand.