Crohn's and Loneliness

I recently attended a job interview and when the founder of the company told me he had Crohn's disease, the delight on my face must have been very obvious. I don't know about him, but when I found out it made me feel like we were part of the same community. Connecting with other Crohn's sufferers, reading about their experiences and asking questions is a great way to keep the loneliness monster in check. If you think it will help, there may be IBD support groups in your community. But remember, you are more than the condition and you should not let it define you.

I got the job =)

The Loneliness Monster

An essential tool is talking about it with close friends and family, otherwise you cannot expect them to understand. If you find it difficult talking, point them towards other sources to help them understand. 

When you have Crohn's Disease there are a number of things that can contribute to feelings of loneliness. Although it may not always feel like it, ultimately you are the only one who can control the loneliness monster. 

Diet Restrictions

Whether you are struggling to keep your food down, or avoiding certain trigger foods, having to explain to people that you can't eat the food they are trying to shove down your throat can sometimes be frustrating. Being invited out for dinner goes from being a pleasurable experience to a stress-inducing one. Unfamiliar surroundings, for example holidays, become challenging as you try to break through the language barrier and find suitable sustenance.

Furthermore, watching those around you devour delicious meals while you try to keep down your wheat-free, gluten free, dairy free, egg-free, yeast-free breakfast may increase feelings of isolation. But loved ones will understand and it's important to tell them how you are feeling. Or, if they're like my dear brother, they will bring home KFC all the time!

Finally, being surrounded by women who are frequently complaining about being overweight (often while munching on a chocolate bar!) can be very isolating. While they face an ongoing struggle to lose a few pounds, I just want to tell them how lucky they are to be able to enjoy their food in the first place. When the conversation turns to weight, I tend to stay silent to avoid receiving a resentful slap around the face!

Embarrassing and Invisible Symptoms

It goes without saying, the symptoms of Crohn's Disease are not traditionally a desirable topic over dinner. A reluctance to explain your symptoms to colleagues and acquaintances can make for a lonely time. Furthermore, the nature of the symptoms means they are not always immediately obvious to an outside observer. It can sometimes feel like no one really understands what you're going through - it took me a long time to realise that they can't be expected to know unless I tell them. Trying to hide it will only make the loneliness worse. You will also be raising awareness and potentially making it easier for the next Crohn's sufferer those individuals may encounter.

The embarrassing nature of the symptoms can also make romantic relationships difficult - if you have read the blog you will know of my poop or fart incident! If he or she understands, you know they're a keeper - if not, kick them to the kerb and finds someone who deserves you.

Chronic Fatigue

Sometimes it can feel like I don't have the energy to perform the essential daily tasks, let alone have an active social life. Fluctuating energy levels can occur during a "flare" and malabsorption can lead to periods of total exhaustion. When the prospect of a night out feels like climbing a mountain, sometimes, saying "sorry, I'm too tired" seems even more difficult. Furthermore, being in social situations when all you want to do is take a nap can make you feel very isolated, even in a room filled with friends. Be honest with yourself and others, listen to your body and make the most of it whenever you do feel good.