Presenting HRH Queen Crohn's

I am a 27-year old female humunculus from England. This blog is intended to be a retrospective diary of my experience, from the onset of symptoms in 2009 , to my diagnosis in 2012, until the present day, including three incorrect diagnoses, a multitude of treatments and all the embarrassing anecdotes along the way. From the days when I was blessedly ignorant of the minute details of how the bowel functions, to the days of laying in A&E, listening to an old man beg the nurse to pull the poop out because he couldn't push any more (A&E nurses are amazing human beings).

I remember being at rock bottom with Crohn's Disease in 2012 and I found it quite soothing reading about other peoples experiences with the condition. One of the biggest problems with Crohn's and other "invisible illnesses" can be the loneliness. Therefore, reminding yourself that there are other people out there who know what you're going through can be very therapeutic. It's only taken me about 2-years to get round to writing this blog. I am a skilled procrastinator in my spare time.

If you are reading this you are probably already familiar with Crohn's Disease to some extent, but for those of you who are not - IT CAN BE HELL!!!

I say "can be", because at present, I am extremely fortunate to have been in remission for just over 12 months, however the treatment for Crohn's has numerous side effects itself. Furthermore, for me remission was preceded by 3-years of absolute hell as I struggled to accept the severity of the problem and faced an uphill battle to get the correct diagnosis. Unfortunately the latter is a common problem among sufferers in the U.K.

Crohn's affects everyone differently, but the symptoms that occur in the majority of patients are diarrhoea, abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting. The digestive tract becomes inflamed as a result of the autoimmune system attacking perfectly healthy cells and, depending on the severity and location, there can be a vast number of physiological and psychological consequences. It is characterised by periods of 'flare ups', where symptoms make a normal life impossible, and periods of 'remission', whereby symptoms are manageable or absent.

There have been some comical moments and some very dark moments and it is only now that I feel I am coming out the other end (no pun intended), but I promise it will at least be entertaining! Using some colourful anecdotes and helpful quotes, I hope just one Crohn's sufferer feels a little less lonely.

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About Me

I'll try to keep this brief. I am not particularly interesting.

Age: 27      Gender: Female     Nationality: British

Height: 5,foot 1/2inch or 154cm (AKA hobbit)

Weight: Depends on my symptoms! About 7 - 7 1/2 stone or 100lb or 46kg average

Likes: SLEEPING, walking in the countryside, The Big Bang Theory, Only Fools and Horses, football

Dislikes: Truly ignorant people, reality TV, slow internet connection, steroids, being an inpatient, politicians, having to buy my clothes in the kids section... this list could go on for a while

If I Were An Animal: Jack Russell - big personality in a tiny package, loyal yet independent, energetic and workmanlike.

I am very tiny, so when people

get drunk they like to lift me in the

air to make themselves feel strong

• I was born in a seaside resort in South East England

• I have two older brothers who tortured me as a child and then complained that I was a tomboy

• I grew up in a single-parent working class family in a semi-detached house. I was part of the last generation in this country to spend all their spare time playing outside - before computers, obsessive parenting and playing in roads became off-limits because there are so many cars.

• I loved school and learning. Unfortunately I loved winding people (i.e. teachers) up even more.

• When my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 I decided not to be a checkout girl and to go to uni instead (this was prior to the obscene tuition fee hike of course, I would never dream of going now).

• In my final year of uni I developed worrying gastro symptoms. However, as I was 21 (and therefore invincible), instead of listening to my body I decided to go backpacking on the other side of the world.

• Forced to return to Blighty and my beloved NHS, because of those very symptoms, I have spent the last few years trying to obtain a correct diagnosis and adjusting to my unexpected life as someone with a chronic illness

Apologies In Advance

Before reading the Blog you should probably take note of the following:

1. Please forgive me if I use the word 'journey' in any context other than transport - It makes me feel like I am part of a cult, but unfortunately it just pops out sometimes.

2. I may be explicit. The symptoms of Crohn's Disease are not everybody's cup of tea so please do not be offended.

3. Sometimes I may sound like a crazy spiritualist. I promise I'm not, I just have a mind that is beyond reasonable control and will think what it thinks.

4. If you are a prospective employer of mine please take note of the excellent grammar and spelling and ignore the actual content as much as possible.

5. If you are a prospective romantic partner, please cease reading immediately.
6. If you are one of those blokes that struggles to accept us ladies have to poop, this blog probably isn't for you. 

7. If you dispute my title as 'Queen Crohn's' please contact my lawyer. First you will have to pay for me to hire a lawyer of course.
8. Any individuals or dates referred to are entirely from my memory. My memory is rubbish so feel free to correct me where necessary.
9. Some images on the site are my own so feel free to use them for non-commercial purposes, and links to third party sites are provided where appropriate, but I accept no responsibility if you happen to use something illegally!