27. Crohn's: A Very Tense Commute

Period: May 2014

After the second trip to the car dealers for a repair, the stress was starting to get to me a bit and my recent burst of positivity was a distant memory. I felt like they weren't taking their responsibility seriously and were just trying to fob me off. What's more, I was starting to hate myself again for being a pussy and not putting my foot down with them, just like I had done with the doctors! Instead, I would drive over an hour to work each day, and then again home, constantly worrying that I was going to break down. When the problem returned a third time I emailed them and after they refused my request to have the repairs done at my local garage, I yet again agreed a convenient time  to drive the 25-miles to the garage in fear of what was going to happen to the car. In the email I had explained that I would be leaving the car with them until a couple of days later to give them plenty of time to finally figure out the root cause.

When I arrived the owner of the establishment rudely told me that they were not expecting me because I hadn't phoned to say I would be bringing the car in. I told him that I had an email that showed I was told to arrive with the car at this time and did not mention any need to call in advance. He cut me off and said "I can show you an email" - and I actually doubted myself and thought perhaps I had missed something. He told me that I was aggressive - this is a 6-foot man accusing a 5-foot non-confrontational woman of aggression! Before this happened, I had been loathing myself for some time because I am not insistent enough in such circumstances - the most obvious example being my dealings with doctors!

I nearly got angry, but thankfully I quickly realised that shouting wouldn't work and they would have an excuse to refuse to take the car. Instead, I did the only thing I could think of to make them take me seriously and I decided to make them feel extremely uncomfortable by crying, which wasn't difficult - I just remembered how much stress and inconvenience this whole saga was causing me! It sort of worked, but they insisted on doing "the work" there are then while I waited in the showroom. Before I was given my keys they made me sign a document stating that I had arrived unannounced, and because I hadn't given them time to source the correct parts, should the problem return they would allowed a fourth opportunity to repair the vehicle! (In the UK car dealers have three opportunities to repair the vehicle under such circumstances). I just wanted to get out of there so I signed it and vowed that I would not be returning to be taken for a mug once again. Needless to say, when I got home I checked the email and there was definitely no mention of phoning ahead.

After this, my self-esteem was fairly low. I was kicking myself for being duped in to buying a car that had caused me nothing but stress from the moment I brought it. I started to retreat in to myself once more, I felt increasingly isolated at work and I was finding it hard to really settle in to the job, not least because of all the time I had to take off to attend medical appointments. With the uncertainty over the car I was reluctant to move out of my Mum's - with the monthly fees for my course taking a handsome slice of my income I couldn't afford to move out and buy another car. Therefore, the commute to work was taking its toll on my pathetic body and seriouslt testing my anal sphincter control n the mornings!